I've never blogged before in my life. I just need somewhere to lay down my ideas, talk to some people and probably vent every now and then. I heard of this site through some friends of mine, the poet in the jar (bex) and the raven (stienz) :)I have been writing stories for a while now, but am new at poetry.. therefore I suck at it right now :P I was kind of hoping I could get some help here with that stuff. So before you can really feel my writing you will have to know the writer first.. or at least some background info..
'The Masked' was a name I choose because of a poem a very intelligent person once wrote .. "Today I wear a mask of gray, though my mind and sadness is blue.You wont see me on this saddened day, How can I expect to see you." He showed me that poem and I have remembered it ever since as it seems to perfectly fit my weird and twisted life. Believe it or not I wasn't always as innocent as I look.. I made some mistakes before with some guys.. I've cheated, I've lied and I've acted like something I wasn't... All just nothing more than a lost attempt to help me forget my past and prove that I had moved on and was no longer hurt. In the end it was all a lie, I've come to accept the fact that the past can't be changed and I will never be over it. Although it's brought me close to death one too many times and I hate the fact that it happened and the asshole who did it.. it's still something I must accept and live with. It's made me the person I am today and that's something I should be thankful for.
I'm an entertainer by nature.. I love to be on stage and have all the confidence in the world when I am.. which is odd considering my deathly shy, unconfident shell. But that's the wonders of the stage for me.. getting to be something you can't always be, expressing yourself through magnificent music, dance and words. As a child and in my early junior high years I used to do it all.. dance, act, play piano, write and sing. Now I mostly stick to whats truely important to me.. music, writing and my love of giving speeches. My life long passion of giving speechs still remains and my award winning speechs still sit neatly in a folder in my room.. It seems to be my way to make my writing shine, by adding a voice and powerful emotions. I like to speak from the heart when talking to a crowd to hopefully get my message across clearly. And I'm definitly not afraid to stand up for my rights... as long as I'm on stage with an audience that is :)
Today, I stand proud for everything I've been through.. as odd as it may sound. I've moved many times around Atlantic Canada just to end up in little Newfoundland. I've given up too much to not live and be happy. This is my sad attempt at starting over, and leaving the past behind.. I've got great friends and an even more amazing boyfriend who I will always love :) say what you want about me, it wont matter.. I'm accepted by the ones who matter most, so what more could I ask for? This is me.. and I'm not pretending anymore.
Monday, September 8, 2008
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